How Can Biden Beat Trump in the Polls?

So, I’m Joe Biden and I’m sitting in the Oval Office about a month ago and I’m good and pissed off.

Here I am, a year away from the 2024 election and I can’t seem to get this sonofabitch Trump off my back. I kicked his ass fair and square in 2020 and he’s still got people believing that I stole the election from him. I ended the goddamn Pandemic, got the economy into high gear, ended that stupid military thing in Afghanistan and the polls still show that the Orange Shithead will beat me next year.

And what’s worse, every time Trump opens his mouth, no matter how stupid he sounds, he gets media coverage and I only make the news when I trip going down the goddamn stairs and everyone says that I really am too old to have a second term.

So, what the fuck can I do to make things right? How do I come up with an event or a situation which not only makes me look like a winner, but knocks Orange Shithead out of the box?

Here’s what we need to do. First, we need to come up with some kind of ‘crisis.’ Not a crisis which threatens the United States but a crisis or a problem which is still something we need to solve or keep under control.

And it can’t be some stupid problem like global warming or some other environmental issue which nobody understands. It has to be something which is very…