Look Ma! No More Social Media.

Before I get into today’s story, let me just say that it is now one month since I deleted my Facebook account and guess what? I’m still alive.

And not only am I still alive, but I haven’t missed one fucking bit all those pictures and videos and stupid homilies that people believe can explain the fortunes and misfortunes of their lives.

What I have never understood about social media is how and why people are obsessed with sharing every little personal thing about themselves. I don’t really care if someone lost 30 pounds last year, or someone’s kid got married, or someone’s dog has fleas.

I always thought that what happens at home stays at home, but I must be someone who just doesn’t understand why every goddamn piece of shit that everyone wants to sell and make a buck need to be advertised on my computer screen just because my computer knows where I am sitting every time I turn on the fucking machine.

And one of these days when I get the 45th advertisement on my droid in a single day, I’m going to toss that piece of shit out the window as I’m driving down Interstate 91 to buy some potato chips at Stu Leonard’s which I need like I need a hole in my head.

But the whole point of an economy based overwhelmingly on the purchase of items that none of us really need is that if we were to go back…